Under Construction

You touched my heart, you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I’ve kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I’ve been addicted to you.

Sometimes I catch myself wondering how I wish things to be.
I make up romantic stories, funny moments and cute lines.
But the truth is: at some point, I fall back into reality.
I am not part of this chapter. I won’t live those stories, laugh at those moments and you won’t say those lines.

Sometimes I wonder if you have changed this much or if you were always like this

I was trying to accept those differents ways we have of loving each other. This way, I could have stopped getting hurt.
Then you told me it wasn’t enough. Not only accept the way you love me, but change the way I love you.

You think you can not feel worse than you already do and you ask an inocent question. Suddenly, your world is falling apart and everything you used to believe in is not real. 

Those things you said won’t stop floadding my head with bad thoughts.

I can not stopo reading that little text. I can not stop wondering what happened betwen us.

What happened with the person who said “there is not ‘me’ anymore.. there is only ‘us’..”?

I can’t help myself. 

How far would you go just to see the person you love smile?

What went wrong? 
I had it all together and suddenly it fell apart.

What did I do?
In a second you were by my side and in another you are so far away I can even hear your voice, feel your skin, your heat.

What has happened?
For a moment we had it all planned and now I have no idea where we are heading. Where I am heading or where you are.

What is our fate?
I thought it was certain. I thought effort would lead me to a reward but it did not. I don’t think I can deal with failure.

What am I supposed to do?
Accept it all? I can not feel happy if I am supposed to face it all without you here. I can not feel good if I watch you in pain everyday and all I can do is tell you to be patient, even if I am not. 

I really don’t know what to do or what to feel. I really wish you were here.
Well, I just hope we can still be together.